bangs and bagels

since i’ve been back i’ve had a lot of strange adjustment moments, and being able to contribute to helping SOMETHING has helped a lot, so i’ve buried myself in youth centre work for the last week. Youth centre work and sleep. Getting out of the house for meetings is easy, but getting out of the house for normal socialisation has proven to be really difficult and i don’t understand why. It’s like the second i need to talk and  laugh and be funny and pretend that i’m not messed up, i suddenly get really fucking tired and just want to curl up and sleep until my next meeting. I keep refusing to see the boy and i think he’s worried. How do i explain something like that to someone new? how do i explain that i feel like half of myself after only spending two weeks in a third world country. My god i sound pathetic, why am i so sensitive? 
ekrjhbs;lrekhb;jthb;ajtbh;kjthb;kjtbh;kjthb
sleep. i just want to sleep. What the fuck broke?